I like things and stuff. In particular new stuff, but I also like old things. I prefer other people’s old stuff, but I like to hang on to mine too just incase.
I seem to get in a perpetual cycle of accumulating new stuff, and forcing myself to rid myself of old stuff. It’s great.
Look here’s all the shopping I did in Melbourne. I went over with one carry on bag, and it magically turned into 2. I’m really good at buying things. New jeans, new shoes, new shorts — new things make me happy. Old things get well, old.
Here’s some of my old stuff. I kinda hate it. Even though it’s kinda the same kinda stuff as my new stuff, they’re newer and more exciting. So I throw out the worst of my old stuff. Here’s a few bags I’ve been collecting for awhile.
I feel good after giving away that stuff to charity, so good, I think maybe I need to buy some new things. I start browsing online. I dream of all the stuff I may need. I browse collectables. I stumble across vintage posters — those I think I really do need. I don’t have anything like that yet. And so the accumulation of things and stuff continues.
And it’s Christmas time! So I’d better go and buy some new things for other people! My only problem is everyone seems to have all the stuff they need already. And so I race around like mad, with all the hundreds of other shoppers, all of us looking for things and stuff for people who already have plenty of things and stuff.
And so I’ve wrapped up all my new things for everyone for tomorrow. And I can’t wait to open my presents and get more stuff, I just hope it’s stuff I like.
Inspired by the comedian George Carlin